Somebody check my brain...I think it's going to explode!

    So the epic failure that has been this week continues!  What really sucks is that I thought that it would be a really good one, but once again I was wrong and was really let down.  I really thought yesterday or today would be a turning point, but I was wrong once again.  You'd think that by now I would have learned my lesson, but I guess I was just too stupid and hopeful!  I should really fix this hope thing so I'll stop getting hurt when I don't get what I hope for.

     Now the entire thing has me pissed as hell and has given me a huge headache!  I really wish the 3 Motrin I popped earlier would kick in & make it go away!  I hate having headaches, especially those cause by stress and emotions.

     It's times like this that I really wish I had my daughter with me.  I could really use one of her hugs and a cuddle from my angel right about now along with an "I love you mommy, it's okay."  Not having her with me right now is making me cry.

     I really wish I had money to go out to a movie or something tonight instead of spending the remainder of the night at home by myself doing laundry and blogging.  Not even the piece of cake with chocolate frosting I had a little while ago is making me feel better.

     The only 2 good things to come out of this week from hell has been 1.) today I only had to work from 8am to 12pm but got paid for a full day and 2.) I discovered that I have lost another 10 pounds today.  Which creates another problem...my clothes are all too loose on me now and I have no money to buy anymore as I am barely able to make ends meet as it is.  Plus my growing girl needs clothes more than I do as she is growing bigger and doesn't have many clothes that fit.  I can do without...I've done it before I can do it again!

     I was pretty okay with yesterday until today after I got home...then everything went to shit!  I got extremely pissed off over something that I found out happened last night.  It just seemed like things were being kept from me, that I was being lied to,  and that I just wasn't worth spending time with anymore.  I'm still not 100% sure how I feel about the events of last night...are they true or are they not?  Plus add in the fact that this is the 3rd time that this almost exact same situation has occurred plus the fact that I haven't seen someone in like a week, nor spent any quality time with this someone in almost 2 weeks and you get one really pissed off bitch!

     Plus I'd been thinking since before the fail that was today occurred that I would finally get to see this someone today because it was to be an early day for us both.  Once again I was fucking wrong!  Go figure a promise was made to a friend a few days ago that just couldn't be broken.  But yet its fine to make promises to me, even simple ones such as I'll call you tomorrow or when I get home, then break them!  But yet this promise to watch a baseball game just couldn't be broken!  Wish I could get a fucking promise 3 days in advance that actually had follow through on it!  I'd have to say that 75% of the promises that have been made to me by a certain someone have failed, usually in the epic fashion.  

     I've been promised today that we'll do something tomorrow, but I'm not putting much hope into it.  I'm tired of being hurt by failed promises!  Tired of hoping and then being disappointed.  My girlfriends all say I should just say fuck it all...that this kind of drama/epic failure is happening too early in our relationship so I should just get out now.  *sigh!*  I think I'm just going to try and sleep on it and see what happens tomorrow, but I doubt sleep will come any time soon...emotions still running high and in all directions