So ever since I heard this song the other day it has been stuck in my head. It will not leave! I have tried to get other songs stuck in there but it hasn't worked! These words keep running through my head, over and over again!
Probably because it seems to fit my current mood so well. Issues coming at me from every corner! I am trapped by them, slowly suffocating it seems! Plus I don't know what to do about them, if anything!
With work its just the same old, same old crap! Kids being a pain in my ass! With regards to my family there have been health issues going on and that doesn't look like its going to get better anytime soon! My best friends have been sick lately...so visits have been out with one of them and the other has just been feeling like crap long distance. Found out last week that a case management conference for my divorce was set up for today with the judge and the attorneys because opposing counsel is a really stupid bitch! (She called it by the way, not my attorney! It was called because my attorney corrected her final judgement paper she sent us...and let me tell you there were a LOT of corrections!)
Then there is my own personal life, which I honestly don't know what to think or do about it! I really don't! I am so confused! I am tired of being told things and/or promised things and then no follow through on it! *Sigh!* I really don't remember it being this hard at the beginning of a relationship! Of course I was 18 the last time that happened, so that could be it. But I mean how hard is it to send a text the next day after telling someone the night before that you will text them tomorrow? Think I am just going to leave it be for the moment. As the saying goes: If someone wants you in their life, they will make an effort to stay in it! Which I understand that there are a lot of issues that have been thrown at wba right now, but seriously...all I want is a text letting me know that he's okay today, or that he's feeling better or worse today...is that really too much to ask? The last time shit went down bad he went MIA for about a month! I assumed he just didn't want to see me anymore so I wallowed in self pity over it for a bit then focused on moving and my upcoming divorce hearing. Then ironically, he messaged me the night of my divorce hearing, after pretty much a month of nothing. I understand depression, I really do, but I don't think I can take it again if he just shuts me out like that.
If you want a relationship to work, be successful and happy, you have to let each other in to all aspects of yourself, even the dark ones that you try to keep locked away. You can't really know each other unless you see each other from all sides, all angles. "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" is one of my favorite quotes by Marilyn Monroe and very applicable to this situation I think. I guess I'll just wait and see for the moment. At least I've finally learned not to get my hopes up where wba is concerned, I've found its the best way for me not to get hurt or angry.
Escape the Fate - Issues
This is the death of me.
I feel it constantly
Just like an enemy
That wants to see me bleed
So I try to be silent while my words they explode like hand grenades
I just gotta stay calm, before I let this time bomb blow up in my face.
These issues pin me to the floor
These issues are my overlord
I feel so dominated
These issues, they choke me like a noose
Issues, they choke me like a noose
Issues, they choke me like a noose
The hounds of hell, they cry
That’s how they get to me
Inject my head with lies
The pain’s astonishing
Like a brick or a stone, slowly crushing my bones, sending me to my grave
And it’s such a fake, this life that I’ve made, I’m going insane
These issues pin me to the floor
These issues are my overlord
I feel so dominated
These issues, they choke me like a noose
Issues, they choke me like a noose
Issues, they choke me like a noose
Issues
Issues, they choke me like a noose
These issues pin me to the floor
These issues are my overlord
I feel so dominated
These issues, they choke me like a noose
Issues, they choke me like a noose
Issues, they choke me like a noose
Issues, they choke me like a noose
Issues, they choke me like a noose
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