I'm very hoping this quote that I stole from my Jew friend holds true for me in 2011. New year, new me, and new boyfriend (but I did get to end the year with him so he still counts as new, we started going out December14, 2010).
Fairly happy with things so far and how things are going in general. However, some things irritate me & I'm finding that old wounds are hard and slow to heal. I'm trying very hard not to let past experiences color my present or my future. I want to deal with it on my own before I bring it all out in the open, because that is just the way that I am. I have to work on problems within myself first. I'm one of those people that you have my trust until you break it or lose it. I haven't yet decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
I can't stand it when someone tells me that they are going to do something & then it never happens! This was a big issue in the past and its happened twice so far. I was told I will talk to you later tonight for the past two nights and it never happened and no excuses were provided. However, excuses are another huge problem for me. I heard the same set of excuses so many times in the past that its hard to know which ones are genuine and which ones are false. It makes things really confusing especially after everything I've been through in the past two years. Right now I'm a little irritated and disappointed, but I'm not going to let it get to me! I'm going to play it by ear and keep an open mind. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle, you just have to find the one that is worth fighting for and giving your heart to!
I am determined to just be me and take everything in stride. Go slowly and see where the road takes me. If I get to see the boyfriend tomorrow like he told me today things should be okay. It hasn't helped much that I have been super stressed out the last 2 days about not having enough money to make ends meet this month. But today, thanks to my super awesome family that problem is solved! I no longer have to worry that I will have money to buy food and milk for my daughter (I would gladly do without for her), gas to make it to work and home each week, and utilities.
I just don't want this relationship to fail! I'm tired of failures! Especially ones that were not my fault in any way, shape or form. However, past fails still haunt the back of my mind! But life is life, so what are you gonna do? I really hope I've found the perfect guy with the glue gun that can fix the brokenness, accept me for me, and take an eraser to the past!