Welcome to the craziness that is my life! If you can't handle it, get out now!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

"For every girl with a broken heart there's a perfect guy with a glue gun."

  I'm very hoping this quote that I stole from my Jew friend holds true for me in 2011.  New year, new me, and new boyfriend (but I did get to end the year with him so he still counts as new, we started going out December14, 2010).
     Fairly happy with things so far and how things are going in general.  However, some things irritate me & I'm finding that old wounds are hard and slow to heal.  I'm trying very hard not to let past experiences color my present or my future. I want to deal with it on my own before I bring it all out in the open, because that is just the way that I am.  I have to work on problems within myself first.  I'm one of those people that you have my trust until you break it or lose it.  I haven't yet decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
     I can't stand it when someone tells me that they are going to do something & then it never happens!  This was a big issue in the past and its happened twice so far.  I was told I will talk to you later tonight for the past two nights and it never happened and no excuses were provided.  However, excuses are another huge problem for me.  I heard the same set of excuses so many times in the past that its hard to know which ones are genuine and which ones are false.  It makes things really confusing especially after everything I've been through in the past two years.  Right now I'm a little irritated and disappointed, but I'm not going to let it get to me!  I'm going to play it by ear and keep an open mind.  Everyone is fighting some kind of battle, you just have to find the one that is worth fighting for and giving your heart to!
     I am determined to just be me and take everything in stride.  Go slowly and see where the road takes me.  If I get to see the boyfriend tomorrow like he told me today things should be okay.  It hasn't helped much that I have been super stressed out the last 2 days about not having enough money to make ends meet this month.  But today, thanks to my super awesome family that problem is solved!  I no longer have to worry that I will have money to buy food and milk for my daughter (I would gladly do without for her), gas to make it to work and home each week, and utilities.
     I just don't want this relationship to fail!  I'm tired of failures!  Especially ones that were not my fault in any way, shape or form.  However, past fails still haunt the back of my mind!  But life is life, so what are you gonna do?  I really hope I've found the perfect guy with the glue gun that can fix the brokenness, accept me for me, and take an eraser to the past!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Coffee! You can sleep when you're dead!

Dear Laundry,
I hate you!
Love, Me
     Today ended up being a really great day!  Got the house pretty much cleaned up and all the clean laundry put away.  That in itself was amazing because that is my least favorite chore to do EVER!!!  All that I have left to do is put the Christmas stuff back in the closets and clean the lil monster's room, but I'm saving that for later today. ;)  Didn't get around to much crocheting which made me kind of sad because it was my last day of Christmas vacation and I spent most of it cleaning.
     Took a nice relaxing bubble bath while my munchkin was being good.  She didn't want to take a nap today, which was very disappointing at first, but then I thought to myself, hey this means she'll go to bed early tonight! NOPE!!!  She stayed up till almost 10!  But it was all good, she really liked playing with the boyfriend and he's really good with her.  She drug him to her room to show off her new Dora bed tent that she's so proud of!  She made him soup, made him read her read-to me princess book on her IXL game (her "video" as she calls it lol), danced and sang the Candace's Busted Song from Phineas & Ferb, and of course jumped and crawled all over him.  All of this without a nap today!  It was insane!!!  Man if only I had a tenth of that energy!  She finally literally passed out on the couch near the end of Blade II lol.  So I got to have the boyfriend to myself for a little bit!  He gets the joy of figuring out where an exhaust leak is in the '68 in the morning so he left at about 11:30 because its going to be a long day for him.  Luckily he only lives less than 10 minutes from me, 5 when he drives lol!  Good thing he's a good driver huh?  How weird is it that we met online and that we live so close to one another?  I still can't get over it!
I so want this poster for my classroom!
   Alas, despite the business of my day I am now wide awake and unable to sleep!  Thankfully I don't have to be at work until 8 and then its breakfast and a boring meeting, so I can zone out until my coffee kicks in.  The saying on this image is going to be my motto for the day ahead!  Its going to take a lot of coffee to keep me going on the first day back at work after Christmas vacation!  One of my nurse or doctor friends or Mr. Chemistry Wiz BWM seriously needs to develop & perfect the coffee IV delivery system.  Maybe something like an insulin pump would work! :)  Can you tell that I need some sleep?  I knew it was going to happen as soon as the boyfriend left too!  I was so sleepy and comfortable curled up with him on the couch watching the movie, then I was wide awake, and I'm still wide awake!  As evidenced by this blog and the apparent rambling nature of it!  And now Blade Trinity is off and I am still nowhere near sleepy!  I blame the boyfriend!  It's all his fault! ;)
     *Sigh!*  I think I'm going to go curl up in bed and crochet for a bit.  I've started an afghan for my grandmother with the yarn I bought at the after Christmas sale at Michael's.  (Another Christmas gift that I bought for myself lol!)  I have a serious love/hate relationship with that store!  I love all the stuff, but I hate how much I spend when I go in there!  I spent like $55 on yarn and got 18 rolls of the really good soft yarn that usually sells for $6 a roll.  The afghan is the biggest project I've undertaken so far and its in a ripple striped  pattern that I have modified a bit from the original pattern.  Now that I am really happy again I will probably try to include my crochet stuff in blog posts on here!  Before my blog was mainly a way for me to vent, but now I have found happiness! <3

Where did the time go?

     So it has been awhile since I have posted anything, but it seems like it was just yesterday.  The holiday season and life in general have been keeping me busy since Thanksgiving.  Things have changed since my last post.  I am now legally divorced, even though in my heart I have been divorced since August of 2009.  I am now definitely in a relationship with a wonderful guy & things are going really good for us!  He scored friend approval with my friends and I have scored friend approval with 2 of his friends.  I am happy that I got to end 2010 and start 2011 with him.
     Christmas was hard this year because it was the first Christmas I'd ever spent completely alone.  My daughter was at her dad's, the boyfriend was on a cruise with his family, and I had no money to go home to Alabama.  I stayed home, cleaned up, crocheted, and pampered myself.  But I missed my family like crazy!  My girl and I did our Christmas early this year and boy did she rake in the presents!  The boyfriend gave me an awesome zippo for Christmas...I didn't think that we would be doing presents because we had just started dating and he was going to be gone for Christmas, so needless to say there was a mad last minute dash to find a present! But Shhhh! Don't tell anyone! ;)  My mother-in-law, Fay (yes I will always claim her as a second mom because she is awesome and has been there for me through thick and thin), gave me money for Christmas so that I wouldn't do without.  So on Christmas Eve I went shopping for myself!  I got some new tennis shoes (my old ones literally fell apart, I really wanted new boots though), a new shirt, a new dress, a new red nightgown, and some Bath & Body Works stuff.
     If you haven't figured it out by now, I am a very happy girl!  That is what I want my 2011 to be filled with, happiness!