Welcome to the craziness that is my life! If you can't handle it, get out now!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Still trying to get it all figured out...anybody want to give me a clue?

     Still nothing!  Absolutely nothing!  And to top it all off I have nothing and am at a complete loss as to what to do about it.  I had someone ask me what was going on and I had no idea what to tell them because I absolutely don't know!
     I don't know what to do because I have no idea what's going on anymore!  It's ridiculous!  How can one person just drop off the face of the Earth, cutting off all communication with the person they had been dating?  It make no sense!  
     I figured that things would eventually return to some sort of normalcy after some time had passed and he was able to get everything together, especially where his son was concerned.  I did not foresee being cut out of the equation...AGAIN!!!
     The last time something bad happened that really messed with his head, I was pushed away.  We'd only known each other for about a month at that time, so it was kind of understandable.  Messed up but understandable.  But for it to happen again about 2 months after we started seeing each other again?  That is just seriously messed up!  I don't get it!  If you are in a relationship with someone and you want to make it work, you don't push them away when you are having a bad/hard time.  Just because you don't want them to see you in that kind of mood is no excuse!  If you can't handle someone at their worst or lowest, then who are you to deserve their best?
     Now I will admit that sometimes when I get really down or depressed I need some time alone.  But that does not last more than a day or two usually.  It is better to talk to people, namely those who are important to you, i.e. boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend.  To let them be there for you when you need it the most  I have done this already, isolated for a bit over the situation and then talked to the BFF's.  They have listened and given their opinions, but I still have nothing!  I know what I SHOULD do, but is it what I really want to do?  I got NOTHING!  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!  And it's tearing me apart that I can't figure this out!

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