Welcome to the craziness that is my life! If you can't handle it, get out now!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Guess I'm never gonna learn...oh wait! Now I have!

     I've come to the conclusion that I'm never honestly 100% going to learn my lesson where wba is concerned.  I've held my tongue about being pushed away.  I put on my indifferent face when I got to see him for about 10 minutes last Saturday.  I even took my sweet time heading to the store in hopes that he would already be gone, but that didn't happen.  I almost died from shock that I actually heard from him outside of work that day!  So he said things were really settling down & that he would call me this week.  I told him I was going out of town for the week, leaving on Monday.  When asked when I would be back I told him Saturday.  He said for me to call him when I got back.  I in turn told him he could text me if he wanted.
     We texted pretty much the entire time I was out of town...even got to hear from him outside of work!!!  SHOCKER!!!!  Then it turns out that things had gotten better to the point that he felt comfortable letting his ex take their son to Alabama for Thanksgiving...leaving on Wednesday and coming back on Sunday.  He asked me at least 2 times during the week when I would be back.  Told me how much he missed me and that he was lonely because his son was gone and he had no real family to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with.  Stupid me felt so bad for him and assumed that I would get to see him when I got back home on Saturday.  Even toyed with the idea of going ahead and leaving on Friday instead just so I could see him.  Good thing I didn't even though my plans for Friday fell through and I could have went ahead and headed back home.  Here it is, Saturday night about 9 pm...I got home at about 5 pm and he was the first one that I texted to say that I was back.  I got one reply and that was it!  I mean WTF!!!!!!!  Seriously?  I'm home and now fucking nothing????  I'm back in town and apparently now I'm not good enough to have anything to do with?  And he made plans to go on the lake with a friend tomorrow...one that he went out with Wednesday.  Guess I know where I rank now!  Guess going wakeboarding is more important!  I know you haven't been in forever, but you haven's seen me in forever either.  Thanks so much for that by the way!  So I hurried home for nothing!  Came home to nothing because I'm fucking stupid!  I could have slept in, spent more time with my family, etc.  But NOOOOOO!  I got up at 5:30 am so I could get everything loaded and myself ready to go before my daughter woke up.  I even woke her up before she was ready to get up just so I could get back and spend time with him.
     I kind of wish I would have listened to my cousin and done what she told me to do while I was in Andalusia!  But at that point I thought things were going to be better and things were going better.
     Also, something odd on his Facebook...unless I'm crazy all the status updates that he posted this week have been removed along with their comments.  Now his status is just ".".  I got nothing!  So whatever!  (Actually, I just went and looked and pretty much all status updates since the drama started have been deleted!  makes no sense, but whatever!)
     Now hope is dead, everything is dead!  I can't do this anymore!  I'm tired of feeling like I don't matter!  It's not worth the hurt anymore, and there's been a LOT of hurt on my end since we met.  I'm just fucking done! I hope one of my friends is smart enough to beat my ass if I give this person another chance. 

1 comment:

  1. i promise i will if we ever get together outside of face book any more lol